wah wah wah

What I want for myself more than anything else right now is financial stability. I'm sure I'm not the only person with this dream.
Part of me wishes I had never gone to college in the first place because these student loans are drowning me. But it's all said and done and there's not a damn thing I can do about it now. Now all I can do is look for a solution. Obviously money is the solution, that being said, I really need to procure some. I will find out within a week whether or not I definitely have a job, but even if I do end up getting hired that only guarantees that I will scrape by. I'm so tired of digging for change. I'm tired of having to ask for the help of my parents.
I long for the day when I will be free.

In the meantime, I will listen to music that nurtures my soul, and I will soak up as much sunshine as I possibly can.

the life of the poor

sooooo technically today is the 20th, but whatever, I'm here.
I think I may have found a job, but I don't want to jinx it so I won't say another word about it until it's definite.
*zips mouth shut*

If the key to writing good music is listening to lots and lots of music then I'm set because that's pretty much the only thing I do with any heart these days. I've been listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen lately and let me just say, the man knew how to write some lyrics.

I am going to see Steve Martin play some bluegrass in 8 days. I'm pretty stoked. That's right, I said stoked. Deal with it.

prior it tease

first things first.
I have liked the band Florence and the Machine for a while, but it has taken me until now to listen to the album "Lungs" in its entirety. I have to say, it's really effing good. And to the people (elitists I think they're called) who might say "oh, I've been listening to that album for ages", well you're a jerk for keeping it a secret. Music is meant to be shared. So if you don't have it already go get it and listen to it and love it.

second things second...
I have no job, and despite what the movie industry would have us believe, hope is not quite so buoyant.
So to keep a firm grip on my sanity, I'm going to copy Abby and try to blog once a day.
This is day one.

I just ain't got no song to sing

I'm crawling out of my skin.
again.

My pencil is sharp but the page is still blank.

oh what a night

Do you ever just hate everything and wish that your life had a face so that you could knock its teeth in? No? Yeah... me neither.

I think that one of the most frustrating feelings in the world is feeling misunderstood. When people just don't get you and they think that they do it's absolutely infuriating.
I wonder if we will ever bridge this gap. I'm not feeling too hopeful at the moment.

medicine.

Everything is better with music. It's real life magic.
The Arcade Fire show was fantastic, especially when they played "Wake Up". All I want to do is play music.

And I'd just like to say that it's nice to have something steady to hold onto in the eye of this storm.

inevitable

If you bang your head against something repeatedly, eventually something is going to break. But it might be your head.


You just can't fight the sea. You are insignificant in comparison. She is the soul of the earth, and you are a parasite clinging to life on her body, feeding on her cosmic power.

Can't people see that the cosmos is too infinite for us to comprehend? We aren't even a spec of dust on the nightstand within the bedroom of the Universe's house. We are that microscopic. Some people find this point of view bleak and frightening, but knowing that I am a part of something so infinite and incomprehensible fills me with warmth. My body will not last forever, eventually I will die, but I won't just disappear into nothingness, I will be hurled back into the eternal cycle of life. We are made of stardust, and one day we will be recycled. We are not just a part of the cosmos, we are the cosmos. It is inside us and all around us. Now that is something worth falling on your knees over.

Grasping at something

This is where I am. I cannot change it so I will make the best of it.